What does it really take to know how to build wealth? For Dawn Dahlby, CFP®, BFA™, the answer starts with something that does not appear on a balance sheet: your worth.
In this episode of the Derrick Kinney Podcast on Modern American Advisor, Derrick sits down with Certified Financial Planner Dawn Dahlby to talk about the relationship between wealth, self-worth and the emotions that shape our financial decisions.
After more than two decades as a wealth advisor, Dahlby has seen clients reach the financial milestones they were working toward and still feel anxious, uncertain or unsatisfied. Her argument is simple: managing the money is only part of the job. Understanding the person behind it matters, too.
Derrick and Dawn get into money mindsets, financial security, the ways women can be underserved by traditional financial advice and what advisors can do differently. They also talk about moving beyond traditional budgets toward more intentional spending plans, investing in yourself, being present when work and family compete for your attention, and why knowing your worth can change the way you approach your wealth.
Because making more money is one thing. Knowing what you want that money to do for your life is quite another.
Advisor Takeaways
- Wealth and worth go together. Knowing your worth and what you value can shape how you approach building wealth.
- Money is emotional. Fear, guilt and insecurity can influence financial decisions, even when the numbers look good.
- Plan for tomorrow without forgetting today. Dawn favors intentional spending plans that balance enjoying life with building financial security.
- Understand the person behind the portfolio. Better advice starts with understanding what clients actually need, not simply managing their money.
- Use money as a tool. Building wealth can create greater security, freedom and opportunities to make a difference.
Listen to the Conversation
Transcript
Derrick Kinney
Welcome to the Derrick Kinney Podcast on Modern American Advisor. Each week we revisit one of my most valuable conversations to bring advisors practical ideas to grow their businesses, serve their clients, and make more money to do more good. What do you think of when you hear the word wealth? Probably something to do with having lots of money, right? Well, my guest today, Certified Financial Planner, Dawn Dahlby says wealth isn’t just about money and that we’re missing one key component. So what exactly is missing? Your worth. Dawn is convinced that when you know your worth, you will grow your wealth.
Today, Dawn shares how when you get clear on your purpose, vision, goals, strengths, and weaknesses, you’ll become more confident in the value you bring to the world. And as you’ve heard me say again and again, when you add value to the world, you will make more money. Plus, Dawn reveals why money is a tool that works for you and not against you. And she shares how to finally create your financial plan without feeling guilty or shameful. You work hard to earn more and create the life you want. Now it’s time to teach your money. to work hard for you. No shame or guilt required. Dawn, welcome to the podcast.
Dawn Dahlby
Derrick, I’m so pumped to be here with you. 2 50-year-olds that are going to rock it out today.
Derrick Kinney
That’s right.
Dawn Dahlby
I love it.
Derrick Kinney
I love it. 2 50-year-olds that look like we’re 35. Sure.
Dawn Dahlby
Because I have Botox, but you don’t.
Derrick Kinney
I love it. I love it. Well, let’s dive right in. And this is something I’m very interested in. You have a very big title. And it’s called Certified Behavioral Financial Analyst. What led you to pursue that designation? Huh.
Dawn Dahlby
Well, if you look at money, right, we’re money experts and money is so emotional for all of us. And being in the business as a wealth advisor for the last 22, 23 years, I realized how much people are emotionally tied to their money and that they were making poor decisions with their money when emotions were high, whether it was positive emotion or negative emotion. So we had to understand the underlying emotions that are driving people to make either poor or good decisions with their money. And that’s what drives us to be successful.
Derrick Kinney
It’s interesting. So talk about that designation because there’s a lot of alphabet soup out there for financial advisors. What was meaningful about becoming a behavioral financial analyst and how does that help you in working with your clients?
Dawn Dahlby
You know, sitting in, I’ve been in tens of thousands of client, client meetings over the last couple decades and realizing that I would help people out with their financial goals and help them achieve their, their financial, their version of success. And I realized once we got there, whether it was a million-dollar portfolio, $2 million portfolio, whatever it was for them, that they were still having this disconnected relationship and fearful relationship with money. And so I realized it was happening in my life too, and it was happening in all my clients’ lives.
So I had to really take a step back and go, how do we really like change the trajectory of how advisors work with their clients and the benefit that the clients are getting from this relationship? Because managing the assets and giving advice around how to grow money is one thing, but the real game changer was in really managing the client’s mindset and their emotions and how they wanted to enjoy that money. Does that make sense?
Derrick Kinney
That makes perfect sense. It’s so funny. Most people make it just about the money. And you’re talking about the mindset and how they think about money, even some of their bad money mindsets, and they hold them back from making money, things I talk about in my book. So I think you’re spot on that many people don’t estimate properly what’s the real powerful lever, and that is your mind. Over the money.
Dawn Dahlby
And I feel like, you know, so many of my clients have been entrepreneurs over the years. And I look at, you know, one particular entrepreneur, um, stands out in my mind of someone who was super driven to make a lot of money. This person was making 7 figures a year and it was never enough and wanted to make more and wanted to have more in their portfolios and just wasn’t ever like satisfied with any of our You know, uh, the results that we had in our meeting. And I started like going like, what is going on? Like, what is driving this not enoughness? Is that a word? Like, I’m a numbers person. Enoughness is my word.
Derrick Kinney
Not enoughness.
Dawn Dahlby
So, but it was like, right? So like, what was driving this for this person? And, uh, and I realized that this person was never enough because they were still living in their pain. from their childhood of not being enough. This person, my client, was adopted. My client had lost a parent, um, early on in their, you know, uh, not the biological parent, but the adopted parent. And, you know, there was a lot of emotional baggage that was kept being pushed down. This, this client of mine didn’t have enough money to even go to the grocery store to buy a can of soda when they were with their friends.
Derrick Kinney
Mm-hmm.
Dawn Dahlby
And You know, when you don’t deal with that pain, you realize like, it’s, it’s, it’s really like, it’s preventing them from living this full life and how much money was enough. Like, what are they really trying to get at? What are they trying to achieve in life? And when you start to, to really pull back that pain and understand the pain and then not only understand it, but it’s like dealing with it. And, you know, dealing with it and healing from that pain is when we are absolutely able to create this different type of life. So I’m all about money. Like, money’s awesome. But like, women who are listening too, like, do not be shy. Like, money is fantastic. We need money to support us.
But when we have the money and the wealth supported with what I call the worth and dealing with your own insecurities and your pain in your life, Like that intersection’s so beautiful. And so that’s why I decided to get this behavioral financial advisor certification because I realized this is the driving force against all money decisions and money success. And most importantly, you know, it’s not about money success, it’s about life success.
Derrick Kinney
Yeah, that’s so well put. And I know that you work with women a lot. And one of the things that you’ve said is that the majority of women do not feel, quote, financially well, unquote. What do you mean by that?
Dawn Dahlby
Well, Derrick, well, you’re not a woman, right?
Derrick Kinney
Right.
Dawn Dahlby
So you— good question for you to ask. It’s been confirmed. Um, here’s what I find is that women— I think all of us human beings are very emotional, but I think women feel this, like, innately we are caretakers and givers. And we want, we’re, we’re really sensitive to other people’s needs and other people’s wants. And I think so many times that we don’t like take a step back and we feel guilty about like saying, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what about us? I need money. I need boundaries. I need X, Y, and Z. And because we’re constantly giving to others that we’re not this financially well because we’re sacrificing some of our, our opportunity.
To either make more money or we’re sacrificing the opportunity to be better investors because we’re so emotionally attached to everyone else’s needs. Does that make sense?
Derrick Kinney
That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, that does. Okay.
Dawn Dahlby
Are you married, by the way?
Derrick Kinney
Happily married, 28 years and, uh, 4 kids. Yes.
Dawn Dahlby
Okay. So I’ve been married 26 years. You beat me.
Derrick Kinney
I dated my high school sweetheart. I love it.
Dawn Dahlby
Like how you, you had to marry your high school sweetheart too.
Derrick Kinney
We actually, we actually met at Chick-fil-A of all things, but that’s a whole nother podcast episode there. But yeah, she’s awesome. Okay.
Dawn Dahlby
She’s awesome. Yeah. I married my high school sweetheart, but I’m telling you that, you know, women have these different needs and I think women aren’t well because they’re so intimidated about like investments. I have been in so many client meetings with a husband and a wife and where the husband’s like, tell me about the investments. Tell me about the performance. What are my results? And the wife’s like, right, you know, like, okay, tell me that I have a financial plan that I’m never gonna— they worry about running out of money. They don’t care about, are you in large cap, mid cap, small, international bonds, fixed income, like, like, like blah.
Tell me I have enough to do my hair, to take care of my kids, to go on vacations and to live secure. That’s what they want. And I think that’s why they’re not well, because there’s this intimidate, it’s this intimidation. of our industry. And I also think it’s about, because all we do is give to everyone else and not take a step back and go, what do we need? Because when we’re a better version of ourselves, we can become better caregivers to others.
Derrick Kinney
That is so true. So let’s put on your business owner hat now, Dawn, because you’ve built a very successful business. But for somebody, whether they be a financial advisor, an accountant, an attorney, a realtor, whatever they’re doing in their local community, and they want to better serve more female clients, What should they do to better grow that side of their customer base?
Dawn Dahlby
Oh, great question. Here’s what I’ve heard over and over from actually in my business, women that have come in for financial advice. They have told me like the advisor, my past advisor never looked at me or talked to me or cared about what my concerns were or what my needs were. They were always talking to my Spouse and women are the decision makers. We might pretend we, you know, we might like stand back a little bit, maybe not me, but others like stand back a little bit and be like, you know, like they’re, they’re listening and they’re observing. They’re not like necessarily talking, but they’re the ones with the purse strings. Like women control car purchases. We control house purchases.
We control the, you know, the, the income and the expenses, like. The cash flow, we’re in charge of a lot, but I don’t think we’re heard enough. And so if other entrepreneurs are looking at to grow the, the side of the business to help more women, they really want to hear the pain points of what women are going through and what their particular needs are. And I think that’s overlooked a lot.
Derrick Kinney
Well, and to your point, and I see this even when I will consult with business owners, I will often sit in on a visit with them and a potential customer to observe the communication. You know, so many people think it’s all about their product and is their product the best product. But actually, as you touched on, it’s about solving the pain points the person has. But, and this is interesting, and you nailed this as well, when there’s a husband and a wife together in the room, oftentimes the dialogue goes to the husband and the wife is not engaged with. And to your point, it’s often the woman’s feedback that the man relies on in many of these decisions.
And if she doesn’t feel part of the discussion or respected, those deals go down. So what would you say to people? Is this, this old school mentality, or what’s causing people to miss out on that? Or at a minimum, just communicating equally to both spouses where they’re both brought into the discussion?
Dawn Dahlby
I personally think it’s the focus. So as a CEO, as a business owner, our focus is profitability and to sell stuff, market and sell stuff. Like we wanna make money. Like, let’s not be shy with that.
Derrick Kinney
Right.
Dawn Dahlby
So the focus is, is how do I be, how do I get this client or this prospect or this customer to come into my business and buy from me? Because I need to put food on the, food on the table. But the mindset should be completely opposite. It should be like, How do I serve better? How do I meet the needs better? You know, um, women’s, like, I’m telling you, like, listen to this statement. Women’s needs, actually men and women, we all have the same needs. Women are tired. We’re exhausted because all I said earlier, all we do is give, give, give, give. And we’re so sensitive to what other people’s feelings are. We, we wear this armor on us, right? That, that wears everyone else’s problems.
And women are tired. Women also, I don’t care if you’re a woman or a man, we all want the same thing. We want a happy life and we all want more time and we all want more money.
Derrick Kinney
Correct.
Dawn Dahlby
So what does that mean for you, Derrick? And what that means for me is different, right? But uncovering why is it, you know, what is their pain point? It’s time and it’s money. And time goes down to they’re tired, right? They’re tired. They’re like exhausted. They, they’re on this go, go, go, go, go. We do too much. Women, because of the way our brains work, we’re, we all have, not we all, but Like ADHD, right? So I have ADHD. Like it’s, my mind goes here, here, here, here, here. It’s just how our brains are wired. I’m not saying everyone has ADHD. I do. Not everyone else does.
But the point is, is that we have so much going on that we, we’re self-inflicting our tiredness and we need to solve that. And sometimes we need someone else, a business owner, a CEO of a company to help see what our problem is too. So it’s really about The, the, the entrepreneur needs to get out of their head of what they’re selling. They need to get in the head of their prospect and really deliver. Because if we all did that, if we all did that, life would be a completely different place. And I know why people don’t do that, but that’s another question.
Derrick Kinney
Why don’t we, let’s go right into that then, Dawn. You’ve teed it up well. Why don’t people do that?
Dawn Dahlby
I believe, you know, I believe every, well, we were kind of born this way. We were born fearful human beings. And I believe everybody has this insecurity about themselves. We all are insecure. Like if someone says they’re not insecure, I’d call BS on that. We all, especially women, actually, I’ll take that back. Men and women, we are all insecure. I think women are. okay to like think about it more, but men don’t even, you know, cause it’s too like feminine for them to think about that they’re insecure.
But I think we’re always focused on ourselves so much and how we look and how we sound and how we are perceived and what we’re selling and our profitability of our business and the, how are the operations? Because we’re so focused on our own self.
Derrick Kinney
Yes.
Dawn Dahlby
And when you start build, like, uh, owning your worth and like being okay in your own skin, being okay with your mistakes, being okay with your weaknesses. And, and that’s when you really get authentic with others and are able to like connect with others on a different level. And that’s what everyone, especially after COVID, needs is this connection. So it’s really healing as much as we possibly can, this insecurity that we all carry around. And if we get more secure with ourselves, we’re going to sell more things and sell and transform more lives.
Derrick Kinney
Dawn, let me ask you this and see if you agree or disagree. When you think about people getting more comfortable in themselves and their own worth, do you feel like that then allows them to focus on other people more? Or is it because people are so self-conscious and they want to keep defending themselves to other people that they put the focus more on them, which actually backfires?
Dawn Dahlby
It does backfire 100%. I, you know, my platform is all about building wealth and worth at the same time because I believe When you fill yourself up, you know, uh, uh, I grew up in a household full of anxiety and fear and, um, alcoholism and all, we all have our pain, right?
Derrick Kinney
Yeah. Right.
Dawn Dahlby
And, and realizing that that’s all, that’s just like, those are symptoms and results of not loving yourself enough because we’re so focused on how bad we are and our weaknesses versus how good we are. And I think when people start to feel more comfortable in their own skin, the positives and the negatives, then they’re able to like connect and give more to others. I mean, that’s, but that’s why, you know, through my 22+ years of advising clients, building money is important. Like we love money, right? So money supports experiences in life and allows us more opportunities, but that alone Is not what people are searching for.
I’m not saying not to search for money because money is freaking cool. But when you search for that and your own security, like that’s what’s living wealthy. And that’s my platform, Living Well. W-E-L-L-ty. It’s about having the money to support your life, your security. It’s about building your own internal security, not being insecure. And building your financial security at the same time. It’s being able to build a personal and financial security and being able to do that while you can live today and not be on a budget all day, right? But you’re able to live free today and experience freedom tomorrow as well.
Derrick Kinney
Well, let’s go down that path because you talk about that living for today doesn’t have to mean sacrificing for tomorrow. Tell me more about that and how can people practically do that?
Dawn Dahlby
So, like, if I told you, Derrick, that you had to be on a diet the rest of your life, would you love that?
Derrick Kinney
No, that would be dull and drab.
Dawn Dahlby
Right? Um, and do we all suffer with weight in our life?
Derrick Kinney
Sure.
Dawn Dahlby
Like, by the way, I went to CorePower Yoga yesterday with my 18-year-old daughter, and I’m a 51-year-old looking in the mirror, and I hadn’t been there for like 10 years, and looking at the mirror as a 51-year-old versus a 40-year-old, it’s like, Oh, bodies are changing. I’m on this constant, like, constant struggle of trying to, like, keep healthy, right? And so my point is this, is that if I told you to be on a diet the rest of your life, you wouldn’t succeed. And it’s the same thing with money, is that we don’t want to be on a budget. I hate, I freaking hate budgets. Um, and so if I told people.
Come into my office, we’re going to create a financial plan, and I’m going to put you on a budget so you can have tomorrow. Like, right, right. Nobody wants like, oh, okay, I can’t sign me up for that.
Derrick Kinney
Nobody wants that.
Dawn Dahlby
Who in their right mind, especially you entrepreneurs, don’t have a cash flow issue? Like everyone’s like, I need more money coming in. I need cash flow. It’s always cash flow. I need more cash. Right. Um, and especially in recession and interest rate environment hikes and inflation, like we all want more cash today. So what if we reframed it and said, wow, you can actually live for today. We’re not going to put you on a budget, but we’re going to put you on a spending plan. You get to spend 25% of your real net income on the things that value, that you value the most with you and your spouse or significant other value the most. And you get to spend 25% of your real net income on that.
And then what we’re going to do is we’re going to find all the other money that you’re spending on that you’re just wasting. Us, us Americans or us humans waste so much money. And so what we’re going to do is we’re going to find that wasted money, whether it’s in food and beverage, whether it’s in insurance premiums or buying the wrong type of insurance. I’m not saying to not have insurance, whether it’s in overpaying your taxes, whether it’s in, you know, your interest rate payments, whatever it is. We’re going to find that wasted money and we’re going to turn that wasted money into compounding and saving for your future.
So when you plan that way, like where you have a spending plan and a savings plan, one that’s in alignment is not going to distract from today. Like sign me up all day for that. And, and, and that’s the problem I think our industry has really gotten in the way of is, uh, I, I love financial planning. Don’t get me wrong, but I think what we’ve done wrong is I would have a client come in because I was so focused on selling them a plan and investing their money that I would go, how much money do you have after left at, at the end of the month? And let’s start building out your financial plan. Okay. But it’s like, wait a second. How are you living today? Like, what’s wrong? What’s broken today?
Because we all have brokenness, right? We all do. And it’s like, well, what’s broken today? What do we need to fix today so you can live today and plan for tomorrow? And I think our industry in the past has gotten it wrong, but I am paving this way. I am, this is a new, you know, a new way of thinking about building wealth and building your financial plan that allows people this, this freedom to, to, to not feel guilty. Again, the behavioral financial advice is about, we all have an emotional relationship with money. It’s called guilt. It’s called shame. It’s called greed. It’s called power. It’s called to be too conservative. It’s whatever, but it’s healing that so you can feel free.
Derrick Kinney
Yeah, that’s so well said. Now let’s touch on this because as we record this, you have a book coming out that you’ve worked really hard on. Talk about the book, when it’s going to come out, and what are some of the key takeaways that people can expect when they buy and read the book?
Dawn Dahlby
Yes. So the book is, um, going to be launched on April 11th, 2023. It’s going to be in bookstores. It’s going to be on Amazon. It’s going to be all over the place. And funny enough, the book is called Live Wellthy, W-E-L-L-T-H-Y. And, and the, um, it’s really about owning your worth and growing your wealth. It’s what we’re talking about today. It’s about living life at this intersection. Of having the tools and the resources to have your money work for you. But remember that we are all an income generator. We are— it’s our worth that actually makes us wealthy. It’s our worth that makes the wealth.
And so it’s honing in on what can we do to grow our worth and understand our purpose, our vision, our goals. Our strengths, the things that get in the way of, uh, uh, uh, us succeeding sometimes, which are our weaknesses. It, like, understanding who you are. And then it’s also understanding when life throws you those curveballs. And Derrick, I don’t know about you. Well, I already know about you because you’re a human being. How many curveballs do we get every single day? And so when life throws us—
Derrick Kinney
More than a bucket of them.
Dawn Dahlby
More than a bucket, right? And, and so when life throws us those curveballs, It’s really understanding how do you deal with those? Because that’s the secret of wealth is when life presents you those curveballs, how do you react to them?
Derrick Kinney
Yeah.
Dawn Dahlby
And how do you make good decisions around those curveballs? That’s the secret of wealth. The technical stuff about having a financial plan and building your cash reserves and your cash flow and your investment planning, your retirement planning, your tax planning, estate planning, that’s all like try and tried and true resources, technical resources. That I don’t want to downplay. That’s what I’ve been doing for like 2 decades. But that’s the easy part. The hard part is the, the emotional, like the, how you react to life.
And so in the book, you go through a process called own your worth, earn it, where you’re earning your wealth, but you’re earning the right to this next level of life because it’s, it’s about how do we deal with the bullshit of life? And then growing your wealth. There’s the 3rd section, which is very small because most people, I would just put people to sleep. and all the technical part about, you know, like, what do I need to do to build my wealth? Most people are just like, let me handle it. And that’s the problem is that we haven’t given other, we haven’t given our younger generation an opportunity to work with a professional like me that’s not going to sell them anything.
So this book opens up the door a little bit to give them that fiduciary CFP advice where they’re not going to be sold anything. So it brings the worth and the wealth together. Long answer, but that’s what the book’s about.
Derrick Kinney
Well, I think it’s good and I think it resonates with where people are right now, especially post-COVID. People are rethinking their money. What is it used for? Why am I working so hard for it? And as you talked about wealthy, that just makes sense. I mean, it’s one thing to be wealthy. There’s that oft-used phrase that people spend their health chasing their wealth. As they get older, they spend their wealth chasing their health. And what you’re talking about is, hey, let’s, let’s put an end to that because we know where that always ends. But becoming wealthy, W-E-L-L-T-H-Y, is about changing your life right now and using money as a tool for you, not against you. And I think—
Dawn Dahlby
Absolutely.
Derrick Kinney
I think that’s so powerful. Now, one of the issues that I know you’re really passionate about is helping support this next generation of women. And I’m guessing that’s in the financial field, but it could be other fields. Why is that important to you, Dawn, and how do you do that?
Dawn Dahlby
Well, I’m going to take a step back and say, this isn’t just about women, you know, women, like, uh, again, I’m all about women succeeding. I’m all about women being, being in, being brought to the table in fairness, but men need this same advice and we don’t discriminate. Like, I’m, I want to be clear with that is, first of all, I think, you know, in the past. I was sitting at my desk and I was helping millionaires secure their money. And I’m like, damn, the people that really need this advice are the people that don’t have the million yet. And what are, what are their access to people like me?
It’s their access is going to a bank and being sold a product potentially, or going to a brand new advisor. that might not have the wisdom, wisdom, um, in, you know, because they’re so old, they’re not old like Derrick and I are. Um, you know, like having that wisdom of just experience just because we’re old. Um, you know, and, and giving them access to this, ’cause I’m like, oh my gosh, all this advice is great for the already millionaires. But what if we opened up the doors and allowed the non-millionaires, the people with $10,000, the people with debt, The people that, you know, don’t know what type of insurance they need to have, how to build a financial plan.
Like, what if we opened up the doors to them? And, and I did it in a way where, you know, because people like me don’t want to work with those people because it actually costs us money. Like, it costs us $5,000 every time I open the door up to someone who has debt, right? Because it’s like, it’s just a lose, a loss probability for us at this point. But I’m like, gosh, what if I could create this platform? that I could teach one-on-many, the, you know, the, the same advice that I’ve been delivering over and over, you know, 50% of our advice is the same advice we give to everybody. Right. And so then there’s this also level of advice that this really particular to the client’s individual need.
And so I’m like, what if I did video, I opened up this platform and I can teach people the advice that I would give to the same person, no matter if they’re 8 years old or 80. And whether they have debt or $1 million, like, I want to give the advice to them digitally and one-on-many.
Derrick Kinney
Right.
Dawn Dahlby
And then once they got to that, once they committed and, and, and built their financial plan and they’re ready to, to, to, to, uh, receive that personalized, like, should I pay off this credit card or should I do this? Should I, you know, for an entrepreneur, should I hire this employee or should I save money? Should, how do I pay taxes? Like, Entrepreneur, the tech, right? All those questions are, are when it really comes down to, I need that one-on-one advice. So that’s what I’ve done because I think young entrepreneurs, 30- year-olds, 40-year-olds, like this post-COVID world is an opportunity for you to reinvent yourself and how you make money and how you live.
And, but you need advice and the, the people that are there to give you advice are people back to our original conversation of They’re trying to sell you something. And I was like, wait, what if we don’t sell something and we just offer it so inexpensive that it’s a passion project for me, but I actually can make money too because I’m helping 1 on 1,000 versus 1 on 1.
Derrick Kinney
Right.
Dawn Dahlby
You know, so of course I’m an entrepreneur and want to, you know, continue to grow my wealth. But when you grow wealth with the intent of not what’s in it for me, but what’s in it for transforming The lives of the younger generation, which I would’ve had access, wish I would’ve had access to when I was 30. Like, like that’s, that’s the passion behind why I do what I do.
Derrick Kinney
Yeah, I get it. I can tell. That’s awesome. Now, as a mom, a wife, and a business owner, those are 3 big roles. How do you find success in each of those?
Dawn Dahlby
Well, it’s a constant struggle. Okay. I, uh, earlier on in my career when I was at work, I always wanted to be at home. I had two, you, I had two baby girls, 18 months apart. And like, I wanted to be a mom. And so, and I was the, the primary income earner in our family by like a far, um, far amount. Like it’s not, you know, my, Uh, yeah, it’s just, I was responsible for 99% of the income. I was responsible for, I had 2 baby girls. It was hard. And I’m telling you, it’s still a struggle even now that they’re 17 and 18. But here’s the thing, when I was at work, I always wanted to be at home and I was thinking about them. And then I was at home and felt guilty, like I need to make money.
I need to be at work. And finally I realized that it was just about, you know, if I just was focused and being present. When I’m with my husband, be present with him. When I’m at work, be present with a client. When I’m with my daughters, be present with them. And it’s still a challenge because life throws us curveballs every day of the week. Um, but I can handle them better about being present. And so it’s about being present. And I think the other thing is, is really about leveraging your time. You know, I’m a mom. I wasn’t gonna, like, I wasn’t gonna give up being a mom. Like, I don’t, I would live in a box. I would live in a box to be a mom.
Derrick Kinney
Yeah.
Dawn Dahlby
Um, but I also, I’m driven by, like, I love money. I love lifestyle. I love, you know, like, I love living life at a different level. Like, I just love environments to be beautiful. I wish I could turn my camera around right now because if you saw the pool that I’m looking at, like, it’s pretty awesome because that’s important to me. But here’s what I’m saying is that I learned how to leverage my time. Our 2 most valuable resources, time and money. I learned to leverage that. So when I was present with my daughters, it was, I was present to be a mom, to have fun with them, to discipline them, to, you know, all the things. That’s pre— you know what wasn’t present for me?
But when I was a mom or when I was being a mom, acting as the mom role. is, you know, signing them up for their sporting events and doing the paperwork for school and taking their lunch to school. And, um, I would go to school, but I, you know, all the extra stuff as the parent, all the noise.
Derrick Kinney
Right.
Dawn Dahlby
So I told my husband, I’m like, here’s the thing. You don’t want to work outside the house? I will. But guess what you’re doing? You’re working in the house and you’re going to do all the noise. If that’s what you want, if that’s in alignment with what, how you want to live yourself, You know, if it’s right for you, then it’s right for me. And so that’s, you know, thank God I was in this marriage where it’s kind of this yin and yang where my husband loves to cook.
Derrick Kinney
Yeah.
Dawn Dahlby
He loves to, he doesn’t love to do laundry, but he, you know what I mean? He picks up the slack at home and does all the un, um, unthankful, like the, the thankful lists that the word thankful lists, ju— like, like things in the house. Like he does all that kind of stuff. And when I’m with my girls, I’m not worried about taking them to dance class. I’m not worried about, did I respond to the email from school? I’m worried about being present with them. And I think that’s the thing. That’s the most important thing you can do.
Derrick Kinney
Well, I like how you said that is be present where you’re at right now, because if you’re worried about everything, then you’re not present anywhere. And we know that the quality time lies inside the quantity time. So I think what you’re saying is so good. Also, Dawn, I think you might be the best guest we’ve had at just flat making up words. And so we’re going to go back and just maybe list those out in the show notes of here are some Dawn-isms that you can apply as well. So I love those.
Dawn Dahlby
I love that. Like I said, I am a numbers person. Clearly, I love to communicate, but I, my whole life, because I have all this energy, I’ve not been a good sit down and read books. So sometimes I make up words and you know what, I can, I could be shy about that and insecure, or I can be like, you know what, this is just how it is and you’re gonna have to deal with it. You know?
Derrick Kinney
I love it. I love it.
Dawn Dahlby
Mm-hmm.
Derrick Kinney
Well, you’ve given us some great business advice, especially for our business owner and entrepreneurial audience. And at the end of our show, I like to ask each of our guests how our listeners can build their wealth. And so I’ve got 5 fast questions for you. Number 1, What’s something you’re doing that your 18-year-old self would be proud of?
Dawn Dahlby
I would say earning an income in, in alignment with my God-given strengths. I love my work. I love my work. It’s not work. There should be another name for it, but I don’t know what it is because I’m a numbers person.
Derrick Kinney
Yeah. Right. So finding something that you love. Is the key right there. That’s great.
Dawn Dahlby
Making money. Yeah. Around that.
Derrick Kinney
Yeah. What about this? What advice would you give your younger self about money?
Dawn Dahlby
Ooh, that’s a good one. I would say that time is on your side. You know, I can’t stress more and more that the earlier you start to put away even that $5, that $50, that $100 is so vitally important. And like, start early, have a fine, and not just because I’m a financial planner. If you really want to not have stress with money, you need to have a financial plan earlier because that gives you certainty and it allows you to chase the right thing, not just chasing the dollar.
Derrick Kinney
Yeah, that’s good. That’s good. What is the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made?
Dawn Dahlby
Buying a house, buying a bigger house than what I needed. Um, you know, so just, it’s expensive and you don’t use all of it. So buying a house to impress people that really don’t care. Yeah. So I would say that. I would say, um, uh, you know, you, audience here are entrepreneurs.
Derrick Kinney
Mm-hmm.
Dawn Dahlby
My second biggest mistake in a professional world is partnering with the wrong people.
Derrick Kinney
Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes.
Dawn Dahlby
I hate to say that. That can be frustrating. But I have been, I’ve been in 4 partnerships that have not worked, and 2 of ’em were really bad. And so, so how do you get into the right partnership? You should really understand people’s values. And what they really want to achieve and put everything in writing. And don’t— I hate to say this, but I have been the most trusting person ever because I wouldn’t— like, I’m a financial advisor. Why would I, like, not trust other people?
Derrick Kinney
Right.
Dawn Dahlby
And unfortunately, even in our business, you can’t trust everybody.
Derrick Kinney
Yeah, it’s a contract is only as good as the people who sign it. Is what I’ve learned over the years as well. So, yeah, now let me ask you this. What’s your favorite investment right now?
Dawn Dahlby
Investing in yourself. Like, I’m a wealth builder. We don’t, we don’t favor, we, I would say the best investment anyone can make is in yourself.
Derrick Kinney
But what does that look like for somebody listening? How would you suggest They invest in themselves.
Dawn Dahlby
I would say get crystal clear on who you are and what you want.
Derrick Kinney
Mm-hmm.
Dawn Dahlby
Like crystal clear on who you are and what you want, and make no exceptions to go after that.
Derrick Kinney
That’s good. Last question. What is your generosity purpose? So in my book, Good Money Revolution, I write about that the generosity purpose is a cause that a person is passionate about, that they support either individually or through their business. And I’m curious, what would you say is your generosity purpose?
Dawn Dahlby
I think our purpose is our pain, and we take to turn that pain into passion. And I would say is for me and how I help others, in life is really about making sure that fear is not in control of your destiny. Don’t allow fear to get in the way of what you want in life. You got— fear is always going to be there, but you got to push through it. And when you push through the fear and actually deal with it and get through it, like there’s something beautiful on the other side.
Derrick Kinney
So good. So good. Dawn Dahlby, this has been such a fantastic conversation. New book coming out April of next year. You’re gonna wanna put that on your wishlist. Uh, all of our listeners, Dawn, thanks for this great time. I’ve loved having you on the podcast.
Dawn Dahlby
Yes, Derrick, it’s been a pleasure. This has been really fun.
Derrick Kinney
Now it’s time for me to summarize the action steps that you can take from my conversation with Dawn Dahlby. First, let me repeat the old saying that I mentioned with Dawn. People spend their health chasing their wealth, and as they get older, They spend their wealth chasing their health. Listen, can I be candid with you? You only get one life. You do. Everyone dies. It’s sad but true. I know money might feel intimidating, even scary to you. It might feel overwhelming to think about putting this big financial plan together for your money, but you only get one life. It’s time for you to manage your money wisely And use it well. Use it to live a better life and make other people’s lives better.
It’s time to think of money as a tool that works for you, not against you. And don’t forget, this is what I think is the key point out of Dawn and I’s conversation. When you grow your worth, you will grow your wealth. And here’s the fact: when you believe in yourself, others begin to believe in you. People pay you for your value. Don’t get me wrong, but they also pay you for the confidence that you bring to the table into the relationship. You know, there’s what I call the sniff test. When you’re with somebody, if they’re talking like they’re confident, but they’re not acting like they’re confident, you can sniff that out. When you bring value and confidence, it elevates your game.
And makes people want to pay you more as the expert in the field because you can solve their problem. Do that, you’ll increase your revenue and you’ll grow your business to what you’ve always wanted it to be. Thanks for listening to the Derrick Kinney Podcast on Modern American Advisor. Do you want to attract more $3 million to $10 million clients and grow your business, then check out successforadvisors.com. That’s successforadvisors.com. And remember, if you want a business that’s booming, focus on the human. We’ll see you next time.
About Dawn Dahlby
Dawn Dahlby, CFP®, BFA™, is a seasoned wealth advisor, behavioral financial expert and author of Live WELLthy: Own Your Worth, Grow Your Wealth. With more than two decades of experience in financial services, she has built her work around an idea that traditional financial planning can sometimes overlook: money is deeply emotional.
Throughout her career, Dahlby has seen how fear, guilt, insecurity and past experiences can influence financial decisions, even when the numbers look good on paper. Her approach brings the practical side of financial planning together with a deeper understanding of the person making those decisions.
That philosophy sits at the heart of Live WELLthy. Dahlby encourages people to build financial security without losing sight of the life they are building it for, helping them better understand their worth, make more intentional decisions with money and create wealth that supports what matters most to them.
FAQs
How does Dawn Dahlby define wealth?
Dahlby sees wealth as more than the money or assets someone accumulates. She connects financial wealth with personal worth, arguing that understanding your values, purpose, strengths and weaknesses can help shape a healthier relationship with money.
Why does Dawn Dahlby say money is emotional?
Dahlby has seen how fear, guilt, insecurity and past experiences can influence financial decisions. She believes understanding those emotional drivers is an important part of making more intentional choices with money.
How can you build wealth while still enjoying life today?
Dahlby advocates creating a financial plan that balances future financial security with the things you value today. Rather than focusing solely on traditional budgeting, she discusses using a spending plan to be more intentional about where money goes.
Why is self-worth important when building wealth?
Dahlby argues that knowing your worth can influence your confidence, decisions and the value you bring to others. Her approach to “living WELLthy” brings personal security and financial security together rather than treating wealth as purely financial.
What role can financial advisors play beyond managing money?
The conversation emphasizes understanding the person behind the financial decisions. Dahlby encourages advisors to listen to clients’ needs, motivations and emotions rather than focusing only on investments or the products and services they provide.
Continue Listening
More conversations on building better businesses, understanding the people behind them and making success mean a little more.
Libby Greiwe — Scaling Yourself First: Building a More Efficient Financial Advisor Practice
What happens when revenue grows, but the hours grow right along with it? Greiwe talks smarter systems, better measures of success and why advisors may need to scale themselves first.
Sten Morgan — How Great Advisors Grow: Mindset, Value, and Leadership
Morgan gets into knowing your value, thinking differently about growth and becoming a stronger advisor and leader.
Will Guidara — The Business of Unreasonable Hospitality
Guidara makes the case for memorable service, human connection and giving people an experience worth remembering.
